This Just In: Bungie are Jerks

Yesterday afternoon, those of us who have been waiting patiently for news of the upcoming Bungie mystery project were given notice: a countdown on the company's official site indicated that news of this mysterious project would "drop" this morning at 7:07 AM pacific time. Speculation on the Internet ran wild: would it be a cross between Halo and Marathon? An MMO? A tactical 3rd person shooter? Would it even carry the Halo name?

This writer, having set his alarm to 7:00 AM here in the city of Seattle, said to himself, "Sure, it's early. But this could be the gaming announcement of the year. Pull yourself together, man!"

What awaited those of us who either stayed up all night or submitted to the cruel bleating of the alarm clock?

A trailer which starts off in a pretty kick-ass way: a futuristic city is about to be bombarded with spacey-droppy things that cause massive destruction. The bad news? The city is New Mombasa, and the "game" is actually a Halo 3 expansion pack. So, if you felt a disturbance in the force this morning, as if a million Xbox fanboys suddenly cried out in unison, "Meh." you'll know why.

Now, of course there is nothing wrong with a Halo 3 expansion pack, per se. It's just that after the bone-achingly torturous hype campaign we have had to endure, we expected something a little more -- you know -- wicked awesome. Alarm-clock settingly awesome.

We are sure that there are those out there who will disagree, who will say that Halo 3 was over too soon and deserves this added content. That we should stop being such whiners and enjoy life. Fine. Go ahead and argue your case in the forums. We're going back to bed.