Gears of War: The Movie

Jason Wong • Jan 24, 2009 • Comments (0)

I have good news and bad news. The good news is that they're making a Gears of War movie. The bad news is that they're making a Gears of War movie. Honestly, has there ever been a good video game movie? Nah-uh! Not so fast. Getting to stare at Angelina Jolie's twin guns in Tomb Raider does not equate a quality film. But take it as you like it, because it's coming whether you do or not.

Behind the helm is Underworld creator and director Len Wiseman. He kicked some butt in his last movie, Live Free or Die Hard, and brought back the cool to Old Man Willis. So take solace, Gears fans: at least the man knows action.

At the red carpet premiere of Underworld: Rise Of The Lycans, Wiseman revealed that he will be co-writing Gears with Chris Morgan, who wrote Wanted [Editor's note: Skip the movie. Read the comic. Thank me later]. “It’s going to be much more [on the] science fiction side of it than the creature side of it. I’ve always been much more of a sci-fi action fan than a horror fan,” said Wiseman. He also let slip his plans for a trilogy. “The hope is that we're wanting to do three movies and really cover the bases on everything. Basically a harder edged Lord of the Rings.”

Yes, what we've all been asking for: A harder edged Lord of the Rings. 'Nuff said.

Favorite quotes from upcoming Gears of War: The Movie:

"Eat $#!t and die, Elf!" — Fenix

"There ain't enough freaks to stop this Ent!" — Cole Train

"I'm coughing up Hobbit blood that ain't even mine!" — Baird

"Ha ha! Troll roadkill baby! Ha ha! Squish, squish! Squash, squash! Ha ha!" — Cole Train

"That Orc's gonna molest ma Betty, ma Precciouss!" — Dizzy

"Aw, ain't that cute."— Cole Train. "Like two Hobbits on their first date." — Dom

"I can't die... Momma said I can't die... Momma? Is Saruman my daddy?" — Cole Train